Birthday memories and the frankness of the Thai

Last week there were two deaths within our school’s larger family. My 6^th grade student, June, lost her mother (who used to be a teacher herself) and one of the 4^th grade teachers lost her husband. It appears June’s mother retired last year because of severe cancer. The teacher’s husband died from fluid in his lungs (in addition, according to one of the other 4^th grade teachers, to heavy drinking and smoking).

Everyone has been wonderfully kind and understanding, yet the openness with which they speak about the deaths it outright disturbing. Because the Thai find no qualms with stating facts (such as “you’re fatter than she is”, or “he’s the slow student in class”) they talk about the deaths with little emotional concern for those who suffered the loss. For instance, when one of the Thai teachers explained to us about the death of the other teacher’s husband, she had no problem essentially justifying his death because he drank and smoked.

My students came to class Monday morning (the day after June’s mother’s funeral) and explained to me that her mother died. They then told me how happy June was today and how she was smiling a lot. They then told me that at the funeral yesterday she had been crying a lot. They went so far as to imitate her crying! I was completely shocked but June didn’t look like it was hurtful. I was on the verge of tears when I told the other teachers what my students had done. I can’t even begin to imagine what losing your mother at the age of 12 must be like, let alone having your friends imitate your tears.

But it’s ok to say, I guess. June was (justifiably) crying at the funeral, and I suppose my students were just trying to tell me that. It all left me very disturbed. I could, however take solace in the fact that, when we wrote in our notebooks about all things we are thankful for June wrote that she was thankful for her mother’s funeral.

On a much lighter note, I celebrated my 22^nd birthday 2 weeks ago. I mentioned about a week before that my birthday was coming up. I had no idea what I was in for. On Thursday Kathy, Kelly, and Helena surprised me with a homemade apple pie! For some reason I had been craving apple pie and I mentioned it. Note, never attempt to make crust with rice flour, it doesn’t work. But hey, it’s the thought that counts and I really appreciated that they baked a pie for me, even if it wasn’t very good.

On Friday, in typical Thai fashion, I bought 80 pieces of cake for my students and co teachers. In Thai culture you give gifts (often food) on your birthday. However, I also received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my 6^th graders and my boss. I also got a pair of earrings from my student Kow (all of my students quickly recognized that I like earrings). On Saturday, my 5^th graders threw me a “surprise” party. I put surprise in quotes because they had been talking about the party all week. All of the students come to school for 2 hours on Saturday to practice English and math. Around 10:45 on Saturday morning, two of my students showed up at my house. We then rode our bikes back to school where the entire class sang an original song to me gave me lots of flowers! Then we ate a delicious cake that my (5^th grade!) student Nam-Pet made. There was a bit of a frosting fight as well. Then they gave me their gifts. I got food, teddy bears, a cute clock, and more food. It was a ton of fun. After giving gifts and eating cake we danced the cha cha slide for about 15 minutes (all the children love that dance!) and then we played bingo (they also love bingo). It was really great.

M and my co teacher Aj. Wandee and the beautiful flowers they gave me

The cake my 5th grade student Nam-pet made from scratch!

The chalkboard

Me, obviously

The wonderful things my students wrote.

Me and the students with presents