Chun con Thai-a farewell

Ah how time has flown. I leave Thailand in exactly 10 days. I can't actually believe it. And though my laziness with regard to this blog has only increased since my last update, I feel I owe it to myself and anyone who's ever read this blog to put at least one final post.

I taught my last class on the 27th of February. I packed all of my things in Nan and then traveled south. I stopped in Bangkok, to handle visa issues, then (with Kathy and Helena) visited Cambodia for just over a week. I came back to Thailand to meet up with a friend from home (Ganga, who was visiting India and decided to hop over to Thailand) and now, short on money and time, I'm returning to Nan. I will be in Nan for my 6th graders graduation and I am so excited for it.

That being said, now is the time to summarize the experience; to tell all I've learned about the world and myself, about Thailand, about Asia and the West.
Honestly, I don't think it's all that profound or exciting, but here goes.
I think the first thing I realized is that I absolutely adored my students and teaching this year. I think I probably enjoyed it more than any of the other girls. I was truly blessed with two classes filled with (for the most part) well behaved, enthusiastic, hard working, and bright students. Most everyday was a pleasure to be in class and I am ever thankful for that. I can't say, however, that I'm cut out for teaching in the States. I know that the work I did this year can't possibly compare to some of the work done by friends of mine doing Teach for America all over the country.

I think the next thing I realized is how easy it is to become accustomed to what was once abnormal. Everything from wearing pink on Tuesdays, to standing for the King's song every time I see a movie, to watching my students brush their teeth after lunch, to 6 hour bus rides, to being stared at by the entire town has become part of a routine. In fact, I can only imagine it will be strange not to be stared at and not to have a color for each day of the week (it really makes dressing simple). And I know I'll miss the king's anthem (luckily it's on YouTube, oh the power of the interweb). And America is going to seem so much bigger when I'm forced to fly everywhere I want to go. It's truly strange how little repetition it takes for something to become an expected part of life.

The next thing that has come to the forefront of my mind is the fact that (even though I've missed home immensely this year) I love to travel and live in different places, and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. It's been wonderful living a different life, a Thai life. I can only begin to imagine what a South African life, or Kiwi life, or Brazilian life would be like! I can't simply be satisfied with an American life!

In that same vein, living in Thailand (and S.E. Asia in general) has reminded me of both the blessings (religiously, academically, socially, economically) and burdens (spiritually, environmentally, materialistically, racially) living an American life affords you. From so many standpoints I am provided with more than those that I lived with in Thailand. I have the opportunity to travel many places, I have never wanted for many of the things they might struggle to obtain daily, I have never feared for my life, I received a stellar education (paid for largely by others), and daily I interact with people from all corners of the globe (as a working class citizen of this country).
Be that as it may, I also live in a country full of people who are obsessed with so many things I find irrelevant, that (in large part) are spiritually repressed, short sighted, and careless. I live in a country that is regularly involved in death and destruction all over the world, a place so caught up in the moment; we've forgotten how to appreciate it. It's much easier to see and overcome these things from afar, but it takes constant effort to get past them on American soil.

I think the last thing I'll mention is the title of this blog-chun con Thai, which means- I'm Thai (or I'm a Thai person). I have become quite protective and possessive of Thailand as a country. I very much consider myself Thai. When we visited Cambodia our tour guides told us of Thailand’s bloody history of war with and attack on Cambodia. When they mentioned it, I felt like I had personally committed the acts of violence, I felt bad for Thailand.

And so it is, that I leave this country, not drastically changed as a person, but accustomed to being stared at, with a wider world view (and a desire to continue widening it), a new nationality, an appreciation and better understanding of my own country, and 66 students that I cant wait to come visit again.

Thank you Thailand, most sincerely and humbly, thank you.